Dating someone much younger than you


04-Jan-2016 19:38

After all, there is something innately sexy about a silver fox.

He inevitably has a few years on you – professionally and personally.

I realized that I chose to get involved because I knew I'd be OK when he and I did decide it was time to move on, because I've always been OK in the past.

Granted, some endings are more painful than others, but as I've gotten older and been involved in more relationships, I have learned that the ending is for a good reason, and that my life absolutely goes on -- usually with me having learned something about myself and taking with me new memories and experiences.

I'm pretty sure more than one person has thought that, with our similar hair, skin and eye colors, that we were either brother and really older sister or mom and son, but the pros far outweigh the cons in our relationship. I’ve been checking a lot of things off of my bucket list. The first thing you learn in Stand-up 101 is “write what you know.” I’ve had a lot of life experiences one could label as interesting, but my current dating situation is certainly fodder for comedy –- and maybe it shouldn’t be.

I'm pretty sure more than one person has thought that, with our similar hair, skin and eye colors, that we were either brother and really older sister or mom and son, but the pros far outweigh the cons in our relationship. In my act, I start by addressing my age, my failed marriages and the fact that I’m constantly at the hair salon and Ulta, just like Dolly Parton once famously quipped, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.” I say that because of all of this, I’m constantly called the “c-word” –- that “c-word” being “cougar.” I do really hate that word.

When the allure of dating someone new wears off, it’s important to accept your partner for the person that you met – even if they are 20 years your senior.

He did look a bit younger than me (he has what can best be described as a baby face).My energy wasn't spent worrying about whether it was going to go anywhere and when/if it was going to end. As much as I hate to admit it, when I've gone into dating someone in the past who I thought had the potential to be something serious, I've started putting pressure on it. We become so caught up in the of what that relationship could be rather than getting the chance to see if that person or that relationship is something we even want. If you're not worried about it ending or where it's going, then you're not worried about doing anything that might mess things up, so you're just completely yourself, like I was with him.When there's no pressure on it, you can simply spend your time enjoying each other, getting to know each other and allowing it to unfold naturally. I didn't follow any "rules;" I said exactly what I felt like saying (in fact, I was incredibly honest and straightforward), and did exactly what I felt like doing.I asked my friend how old he was, to which she replied, “He’s in his early 30s.” Both my husbands were a few years younger than me, but I had never been with someone over 10 years younger than me. Until I'm no longer happy in this relationship (if that even happens), I'm going to enjoy every moment.

I had been on a few dates with 30-somethings, but nothing really came of those. You know, I could go on and on about the whole double standard thing -– but you and I both know that’s not going to change anytime soon and I feel like talking about it is just a waste of breath. He and I met soon after and were instantly attracted. I know I'm still going to have to defend my decision to a lot of people -- and I'm ready to do so. I just thought sharing my story might help shatter the stereotype of the “c-word.” The moral of the story: Be with whoever makes you happy.