How to email on a dating site


24-Nov-2014 07:08

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So, do you have any advice for how to get my message to stand out? Most dating sites have a flirty option which allows you to express your interest without having to actually message a person.

(On How About We, this is the “I’m Intrigued” button, on OKCupid it’s a wink.) In general, this is not a good way for a guy to approach a girl on an online dating site.

Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.

Men who treat women as unique and interesting individuals stand a much greater shot of receiving a response. The most interesting tidbit in her profile is the thing that sounds like it couldn’t have been written by anybody else in the world. Whatever it is, take her quirky tidbit and turn it into your pickup line. The most effective way to catch someone’s attention in an initial email is with fiction. Because the truth, as we’ve established, is boring. But does any of that sound like a good pickup line to you? A good joke doesn’t require an explanation – it’s obviously a joke.

So girls and guys must have drastically different experiences with online dating.

The girls post a profile and get bombarded with messages from guys, guys scan profiles and message the girls.

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I could be making a vast generalization, but to an extent, this doesn’t matter.

After all, most people’s profiles don’t exactly give you a ton of material to work with, do they? Ask yourself if what you’re writing sounds completely original.



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